The Truth is Out There — Again

It’s 2018 and it’s weird to be experiencing an old familiar flutter in my gut that makes it feel more like 1998 — that anticipation of what the heezy are Mulder and Scully gonna get into tonight. Hot damn, hot damn, “The X-Files” is back on TV!

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Much to Matt’s consternation I’ve been binge-watching old “X-Files” episodes lately like it was my job. It’s corny, I’ll admit, but there’s something comforting about the wacky old-school National Enquirer headline-style story lines, David Duchovny’s monotone wooden acting, and Scully’s power suits and concerned looks.

Let’s not forget the star of the vintage X-Files… Dana’s lipcolor. Late 90s, pre-internet in Gainesville, FL I would have given a kidney to get that perfect Scully shade. I’ve since Googled it and the original products used have long since been discontinued (and I wouldn’t have been able to find or afford them back then, anywho). Turns out that two lipsticks I actually owned back in the day – Revlon’s Super Lustrous Lipstick in Rum Raisin and Toast of New York – mixed together make a pretty good hack on that look. So does a swipe of L.A. Girl Matte lipstick in Spicy over MAC Spice lipliner (a classic!) with a fair slathering of my fave DHC Lip Cream.

Mr. Callan should be happy that my 90s fashion obsession stopped with lipcolor;  I could have revived the short-alls/Ray Ban Clubmaster sunglasses/loafers and scrunch socks uniform I used to rock. And I have to confess that I did buy an awesome (and cheap!) Uniqlo velvet slip dress and perfect white t that in combo makes me feel kinda “grungy” and chic at the same.

A lot has happened in 20 years but today it feels like yesterday. “The truth is” that I’m still the girl that was kicking butt in the 90s and this year I’m going to go “out there” and reclaim her.

 

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New Year’s Ways

Hi! Welcome to my blog. I’m Stacey and I’m going to use this space to try to be a better, more responsible me in 2018 and I would like you to invite you to join me on the journey. These is not about New Year’s Resolutions but new life resolutions, not a quick fix but a long-term commitment to treat myself better, to be a better wife to a super talented muscian/music producer, to stop being so anxious & afraid about everything… And I want to be the super kick-ass wife that my husband’s alter-ego Matt Callan deserves. Hence, “Becoming Mrs. Matt Callan.”

Without boring you I want to let you know I wasn’t always the person I am today. I used to be confident, fit & athletic, a loving, respectful daughter to my parents (who are no longer with us), a talented writer,  and a great wife to my ex — a complete lying d-bag loser who crushed my dreams, stole my dignity, and broke my spirit. It’s been a long journey to where I am and I’m done living in this “zip” code.  Queue the “Sanford and Son” theme song; I’m movin’ on up!

I want to list some goals for 2018 that I’m going to blog about to keep myself motivated and to hold myself accountable:

** I’m going to complete the 21 day challenge on the “Weight Loss Fitness” app — I have been using the “Running” app for a few months now and really like it. Just starting the “Weight Loss Fitness” app today and did the first day workout. Also did my 34 minute workout Day 1, Week 1 on the Running for Weight Loss under the Running app.

** I’m going to teach myself to sew on the new Brother sewing machine I got from my awesome hubby for Christmas. I want learn how to sew garments from Japanese pattern books, so I’m going to have to learn some Japanese as well.

** I’m going to do as much yoga as possible with Om Sunshine Yoga in New Smyrna Beach. Michele Benton is my girl and the bestest yoga teacher and paddleboard instructor on the planet. I intend to spend as much time as I can getting fit and spiritual with her and the incredible people she tends to attract.

** I’m going to write on this blog as much as possible to pass on my progress, share helpful hints that I finds, and find my true self in the process.

** I’m going to enjoy more of the simple pleasures that make me happy even if they seem silly: taking baths with a glass of wine and a great or estoteric book on my beloved Kindle; listening to Hall and Oates (and every possible iteration of them including Live From Daryl’s House), Geoff Byrd, and ELO; watch, sing and dance to, and quote from “Xanadu” a lot more than I have been; resume my almost obnoxious devotion to my alma mater the University of Miami (it’s all about the U!!!); indulge in my love of being crafty (5 Minute Crafts on YouTube–what?!); spending more quiet reflection time in prayer; and being the best darn Mom at the dog beach (with my 2 special rescues how can I mess that up?) and here Casa Callan with Cali the Wonder Cat and sometimes Duma (who doesn’t want to go to his actual home)?

As I begin this journey am I a bit melancholy. I really miss Mom and Dad this time of the year; hard to believe they’ve been gone for 10 and 9 years, respectively.  I miss the sister I used to think I had. I miss my aunts and regret that addiction and its consequences have tarnished my love of Kentucky and desire to visit.

I going to acknowledge the temporary (not ultimate) sadness… I always liked the saying in 12 Step recovery: you can start your day over at any time. Well, I’m claiming my right and ability to start my life over at any time.

It’s New Year’s and  while I’ve been writing I’ve been watching the much underappreciated “New Year’s Eve” movie. I think there are several aspects of this poignant film that resonate with me at this juncture. I’m tired of being a sad and beaten down Ingrid (the how-can-it-be-true?! dowdy Michelle Pfieffer); I want to be a combination of the taking-no-shit, claiming what’s important to her Laura (Katherine Heigl) and the spunky Ava (Sofia Vergara–oh still Matt Callan’s heart) with a touch of the optimism of Claire Morgan (Hilary Swank).

I’m going to appropriate one of Claire’s quotes to end my first post:  the New Year is the time to “reflect on the year that has gone by, to remember both our triumphs and our missteps, our promises made and broken, the times we opened ourselves up to great adventures… or closed ourselves down for fear of getting hurt, because that’s what New Year’s is all about: getting another chance, a chance to forgive, to do better, to do more, to love more, and to stop worrying about what if… and start embracing what will be… Let’s remember to be nice to each other, kind to each other, and not just tonight but all year long.

Happy New’s Day and good luck to your New Year’s ways, dear readers.